So this week in the news the Notre Dame Cathedral caught on fire. What devastating news, its such a beautiful building and 800 plus years old. I remember this was one of the first buildings that got my attention in school because of the flying buttresses and the grace and elegance all of that bestowed.
The first thing that came to mind to me is: was it arson? and then that question was answered shortly by the authorities. No it was not arson. This answer came even while it was still burning which seemed suspicious to me. As the days have gone by the answer is still no, but more information has become available that makes me question things.
1. Monday April 15th was the first day of Easter Holly Week
2. How can you say arson is most likely not the cause while the fire is still burning and no investigation has been done?
3. There have been 12 other French churches have been desecrated in the past week.
4. Although not claiming credit for the destruction, ISIS has used the fire as propaganda.
In my opinion any one of these items could be chalked up to coincidence, but all four kind of make you look up and say "Huh"
Scaffolding had been set up in the mid section of the cathedral surrounding the midsection and spire, and although repairs were scheduled, actual repairs had not yet commenced, with the scaffolding not yet being complete. My experience with scaffolding is that there is reason for electricity or flame, open or otherwise while constructing scaffolding, and since it was not complete there were no other trades on site working. Now certainly the people erecting the scaffold could have been smoking and tossed an errant cigarette but out while sneaking a cigarette, but the roof was sheeted in lead, and in my opinion highly unlikely to burn. from watching the video from the fire it looks like the fire could have started at the spire, which possibly may not have been metal or stone, but quite possibly was constructed at least in part of wood, which could have lent a place for a cigarette butt to smolder. That said, it seems like quite a coincidence that a cigarette butt could smolder for less than 20 minutes before becoming a conflagration which ultimately destroyed almost the entire roof of the cathedral albeit exceptionally dry, these timbers were talking about were heavy timbers of oak, and very difficult to get to burn, although I don't know what type of wood the spire was constructed of it was built of wood and sheeted in lead, and seems highly unlikely that a random stray butt could have caused a fire.
Its been stated in the media numerous times that the attic area of the cathedral was called the forest because of all the wood and trees that went into creating the structure, and that because of the dryness of the wood, that all open flames, electrical, and anything else that could generate a spark were not allowed in this area, and that renovations to the building were quite stringent as to what could and could not be done such as unplugging any extension cords when not in use where they were permitted.
In my opinion, this is what could have happened. A workman assembling the scaffold was possibly a lone wolf and was able to plant some kind of incendiary device near the spire that would start a fire after they all left, and most likely not be discovered afterward due to the excessive heat, and destruction, or someone climbed up the scaffolding and did the same thing. The problem with that is the person doing so would have had a limited time to do the job, as the workmen setting the scaffold had only left about 30 min earlier, although the person could have sneaked up earlier and simply waited for the workmen to leave, I think that is unlikely as it would have increased the odds of being caught. After setting the device the person, if they were not planning on dying would have had to escape back down the scaffold, and you would have thought someone would have seen someone exiting quickly, as well as the fact that scaffold is not designed for quick movement. there would have likely been squeaking and some movement of the actual scaffold that would have caught someone's attention.
As far as the report that the fire is not arson, that is at best possibly wishful thinking on the part of the person saying that early on, and evidence will be found to the contrary. And at worst, someone is trying to perpetuate a cover up, so as not to inflame people against most likely Muslims which I honestly believe had something to do with it, and only time will tell
Thursday, April 18, 2019
Wednesday, April 30, 2014
Looking back after coming out
Lots of people say that being gay is a choice, well its not. It's no more of a choice than it's a choice to be straight. I made a choice 30 years ago to be straight and in making that choice, I ruined my life, the life of my ex wife, my kids, my family and friends. As I stated in an earlier post I was born and raised in a small cow town in Oregon. My parents were hard working people and instilled that value in my sisters and myself. My dad was and continues to be a rancher/cowboy, and my mom was a stay at home mom. When I finally came out about 5 years ago, it was like a huge weight had been lifted from my shoulders.
I had spent 40 years being straight, but it was all a lie. As I started to look back on my life I could see that I was gay long before I even knew what the word meant, aside from the 2nd definition.
gay adj
I had spent 40 years being straight, but it was all a lie. As I started to look back on my life I could see that I was gay long before I even knew what the word meant, aside from the 2nd definition.
gay adj
1.
a. homosexual
b. (as noun) a group of gays
2.
a. carefree and merry a gay temperament
b. brightly coloured; brilliant a gay hat
c. given to pleasure, esp in social entertainment a gay life
They say childhood is an innocent time, and that once we start becoming self aware is when we start to mature, and take on the characharistics we see and how we want people to see us as, and for me that is defiantly true. When I took the time to reflect on who I was and how I got there I could see that I had been gay as far back as I could remember.
I used to spend allot of time with my grandma, and she belonged to a local group called "Garden Club" It was primarily a group of older women who got together a couple of times a month I think had a meeting, did some artsy crafty things, and had a show and sale around Christmas time. this is one of my first memories, and I think this started before I started school, I wasn't so much into hanging with the older women, but I did like hanging out with a girl my age who also spent allot of time with her grandma there, we would hang out and explore, I don't remember what else, but I remember she was a best friend at the time up through high school, never in a romantic kind of way, more of just a confidant.
Later once I got into grade school I had a friend who was a couple of years older, he lived several miles away and outside of school we didn't see much of each other. One day I asked him if he could spend the night, and he asked his parents and they said yes, but I forgot to ask mine. He went ahead and came with me, my mom was very gracious and said no problem, but told me the next time I had to ask first. Several weeks later again I wanted him to spend the night, and again I forgot to ask my mom. I knew I would get in trouble that time if he came home with me. He got off the bus and it left before I had a chance to tell him it wasn't OK that he spent the night, so when I did. he left his change of clothes hidden in the bushes at the end of our driveway, and walked home. That change of clothes consisted of a couple pairs of underwear, socks, and shirts. Almost every day for the next couple of years when I would get off the bus I would go over there and pull out his underwear, I would get a hard on, certainly at the time I had no idea what it was, but it felt kind of good. I remember being really upset when my dad was burning ditches several years later, and they got burned up.
One of my other friends Tommy, we would hang around school together, with our arms around each other, and then when he spent the night, I would always look forward to taking a bath with him, we would play with our dicks and have allot of fun., at the same time most of my other friends were girls, I liked playing jump rope, hopscotch, 4 square. I never really liked playing with the boys, because they wanted to play football, baseball, basketball, dodge ball. The only time I ever tried playing basket ball, was in 4th grade, I joined the JV basketball team (our school was so small everyone that wanted to join made the team), I joined not because it was something I wanted to do, but I thought my dad would like it (he was quite a jock in school), I was terrible at basketball, and did my best to not get the ball, but the locker room was awesome, all the naked boys, mostly the older boys. That was the only thing that made basketball worthwhile, so I decided I would go out the next year, but when the next year finally came around I found out I could be a manager, which consisted of doing the books, keeping the balls, and as a bonus I could still go in the locker room with naked boys. That is how i spent the remainder of my grade school years sports career.
Then in junior high when the other boys started getting interested in the girls, I wanted to hang out with the boys, I "went out" with a girl in 8th grade when I was told by a class mate that Martha really liked me, this lasted for about a week, because I wouldn't walk her to class, and kiss and hold hands...yuck. Then in High School I had a girl in one of my classes that I really liked, and again trying to fit in, I asked her to "go with me" she accepted, and took my ring. I tried to ask her to lunch with me, hold her hand and walk her to class. That lasted for about a week and she broke up with me, because I was "too fast" LOL.
The rest of my freshman year I dated an older girl, a Junior. She wasn't actually pretty, or attractive in any shape or form, she was nice, but somewhat over weight. I went out with her for 2 reasons and that was 1. she had been molested by her father when she was younger, and I thought I could get some, and 2. it was a good cover for how I really felt, and my attraction for guys. We continued going out through my sophomore year and her senior year, and I think we had 3 dates, Christmas formal, Junior/Senior prom, and dinner at her house. Whats funny, is in the two years we went out, I never got laid, not because I don't think she would have put out, but because i really didn't know how to approach it, and really I was a nice guy, and I really wasn't into her sexually. After we broke up towards the end of my sophomore year, she cried and kept trying to get me to come back.....just not into it.
Then through my junior and senior years, i pretty much just hung out with the guys, had lots of friends that were girls, all of whom are still good friends, and met a friend that I ended up having sex with (that's another story) and then just before the end of school, my first High School girlfriend, asked me to the Junior/Senior prom I liked her and we went and had a good time. She thought there was more there than I did, (I thought I was just the only date she could get, she was in the popular crowd, I was in the Geek crowd) I continued to be a flirt/player, then one of her friends told me she really liked me, so I asked her to go with me she accepted, and we continued to date through college, although she was 13 hours away. In that 4 years, we never kissed, or had sex, we were just really good friends. During those 4 years I continued having sex with my best friend, almost up to when she and I got married.
Starting to Feel Comfortable With Who I Am
Well, its been 50 years, and for the past 5 years I've been open about who I am and no longer living in a lie. I was born and raised in a small rural town, actually it was a farming and ranching community in Oregon. I was raised on the family cattle ranch, I grew up riding horses, fixing fence, working cattle, hunting, hiking, camping, working on the farm equipment, driving trucks, and riding motorcycles. I was the normal all American boy. Except I had a secret, a secret that lasted for four and a half decades, ruined my marriage, and contributed to the estrangement of my kids and I.
I started the coming out process about 5 years ago, after meeting someone I thought I could spend my life with, that didn't work out, but it worked out for the best, as I ended up meeting the love of my life. But what it did was cause me to become more comfortable in my own skin, and with that came the piece and contentment of no longer having to lie about who I am.
I met CJ online, just as I had done countless times, but this one started out a little differently than the others, while chatting I happened to mention that I was heading home for some reason or other to Oregon. He then proceeded to say a line that I had said numerous times said oh yeah, I grew up in a little town in Oregon you probably never heard of Powell Butte......I thought, did I just type that? NO, he typed it. He had grown up in the same community I grew up in Knew allot of the people I knew, although he was about 10 years younger than I was, I'm sure I had met him over the course of living there, I certainly remember a friends younger brother mentioning him, talk about an odd feeling.
We ended up meeting, and eventually being in a relationship for about a year, but during that year I learned allot about myself, and with his encouragement, began my coming out process. He, like I was raised in the same farming community, and both grew up doing about the same things......just being boys. He on the other hand realized he was gay shortly after moving out on his own, in his own words it was easier telling his parents he was gay than telling them he was a vegetarian. His dad was still a cowboy in eastern Oregon, and as a side note Ironically, knew allot of my ex wife's family. So he had been out most of his adult life, when I first stayed with him, his house was unavailable, so we stayed at his brothers house. His brother was married, with wife, and kids. I was a little apprehensive meeting them, and when came time to go to bed, I was more than a little hesitant, but his brother and family was totally cool with he and I. That is where my coming out really began.
Over the course of the next year, I told my middle sister who was also gay. I then told my other sister and her husband, who at the time was in the military, to say the least, I was a little concerned about their reaction. I was kind of forced into this announcement, by CJ in that I was going to my sisters to do some work and he wanted to come along, how to you explain bringing a "friend" to your sisters, and oh were going to sleep in the same bed? So I went to my sisters without him, which started a fight, I was determined to tell them, so that wouldnt happen again. To start this conversation, while my brotherinlaw was at work, I told my sister i needed to talk to the two of them when it was convenient. She looked kind of worried about what I needed to talk to them about, I figured probably they at least had an idea about me, but I was concerned she might think it was more serious, like I had HIV or something, so I told her it was nothing serious. Later that night I told them, and again It was no big deal. With those responses, I felt empowered to let other friends and family know. All the responses were great. These responses came from family, friends, and co-workers. Several of my close friends were and are Christian, when it came time to tell them I was very concerned about how they would take it, but again they were very loving and supportive, the way "Christians" aught to be, caring and non-judgemental.
I've been out now about 5 years now. I'm not out in the fact that I flaunt that I'm gay, because that's not me. If someone asks I tell them. If not, its none of their business. I don't show my sexuality out in public. I don't hold my Partners hand when were out, nor do I kiss him when were in public. It's not because, I'm uncomfortable with who I am, it's because I'm uncomfortable with seeing anyone doing that in public, straight or gay. I'm still the guy I have been my entire life, a masculine guy that loves the out doors. I love trucks, motorcycles, jet skis, and horses. If you met me on the street or anyplace else you wouldn't have a clue. the same goes for my partner, hes masculine, loves the out doors, horses, rancher. He can rope a cow, train a horse, and fix a truck, all around work,and his full time job is a gold miner. Were not the "stereotypical" gay men, but there are more gay men like us than most people would think.
I started the coming out process about 5 years ago, after meeting someone I thought I could spend my life with, that didn't work out, but it worked out for the best, as I ended up meeting the love of my life. But what it did was cause me to become more comfortable in my own skin, and with that came the piece and contentment of no longer having to lie about who I am.
I met CJ online, just as I had done countless times, but this one started out a little differently than the others, while chatting I happened to mention that I was heading home for some reason or other to Oregon. He then proceeded to say a line that I had said numerous times said oh yeah, I grew up in a little town in Oregon you probably never heard of Powell Butte......I thought, did I just type that? NO, he typed it. He had grown up in the same community I grew up in Knew allot of the people I knew, although he was about 10 years younger than I was, I'm sure I had met him over the course of living there, I certainly remember a friends younger brother mentioning him, talk about an odd feeling.
We ended up meeting, and eventually being in a relationship for about a year, but during that year I learned allot about myself, and with his encouragement, began my coming out process. He, like I was raised in the same farming community, and both grew up doing about the same things......just being boys. He on the other hand realized he was gay shortly after moving out on his own, in his own words it was easier telling his parents he was gay than telling them he was a vegetarian. His dad was still a cowboy in eastern Oregon, and as a side note Ironically, knew allot of my ex wife's family. So he had been out most of his adult life, when I first stayed with him, his house was unavailable, so we stayed at his brothers house. His brother was married, with wife, and kids. I was a little apprehensive meeting them, and when came time to go to bed, I was more than a little hesitant, but his brother and family was totally cool with he and I. That is where my coming out really began.
Over the course of the next year, I told my middle sister who was also gay. I then told my other sister and her husband, who at the time was in the military, to say the least, I was a little concerned about their reaction. I was kind of forced into this announcement, by CJ in that I was going to my sisters to do some work and he wanted to come along, how to you explain bringing a "friend" to your sisters, and oh were going to sleep in the same bed? So I went to my sisters without him, which started a fight, I was determined to tell them, so that wouldnt happen again. To start this conversation, while my brotherinlaw was at work, I told my sister i needed to talk to the two of them when it was convenient. She looked kind of worried about what I needed to talk to them about, I figured probably they at least had an idea about me, but I was concerned she might think it was more serious, like I had HIV or something, so I told her it was nothing serious. Later that night I told them, and again It was no big deal. With those responses, I felt empowered to let other friends and family know. All the responses were great. These responses came from family, friends, and co-workers. Several of my close friends were and are Christian, when it came time to tell them I was very concerned about how they would take it, but again they were very loving and supportive, the way "Christians" aught to be, caring and non-judgemental.
I've been out now about 5 years now. I'm not out in the fact that I flaunt that I'm gay, because that's not me. If someone asks I tell them. If not, its none of their business. I don't show my sexuality out in public. I don't hold my Partners hand when were out, nor do I kiss him when were in public. It's not because, I'm uncomfortable with who I am, it's because I'm uncomfortable with seeing anyone doing that in public, straight or gay. I'm still the guy I have been my entire life, a masculine guy that loves the out doors. I love trucks, motorcycles, jet skis, and horses. If you met me on the street or anyplace else you wouldn't have a clue. the same goes for my partner, hes masculine, loves the out doors, horses, rancher. He can rope a cow, train a horse, and fix a truck, all around work,and his full time job is a gold miner. Were not the "stereotypical" gay men, but there are more gay men like us than most people would think.
Saturday, April 13, 2013
Transgendered
Today I read an article where a Transgendered male we prohibited from using the women's restroom at a local grocery store. Now I don't know if I really believe in the whole Transgendered thing, but to each his own. I'm a male that likes other men, and I'm glad of it, I can't imagine wanting to be a woman....Although, I can see a woman wanting to be a man....LOL. JK, JK,
The problem arose, where he/she dressed as a woman, and then at the grocery store used the women's restroom. I imagine this probably was not a one time thing, and from the article it appears that it was not. He/she proceeded to go to the stall and then urinated while standing, causing a woman in one of the other stalls some level of consternation, which she reported to the appropriate authorities, IE: store manager, who then reported it to the police, and the Transgendered person was eventually charged with trespassing, and banned from the store for a year because of this.
Now to my point of view. I have used restrooms, (men's) where the women's was full and a woman came in and used the stall while I was standing at the urinal, no harm no foul in my opinion, it didn't bother me in the least and it didn't seem to bother any of the other men, and there were no rude comments made by anyone that I remember. Granted this was a little different situation, in that there were allot of people around albeit a men's restroom I doubt neither the woman, or any of the men, had much concern of being raped or molested, but on the other hand, it was the men's restroom. I myself by accident walked into a woman's restroom by accident, and had to use the stall, not realizing it was a woman's restroom, until a woman came in and sat down in the stall next to me.....man was I embarrassed, and hoped I could get my pants back up and out of there without anyone seeing me. But back to my point. a man that says he identifies as a woman or vise versa, who dresses as the opposite sex, acts like the opposite sex, takes the name of the opposite sex, sounds like the opposite sex, who still has the original equipment of his or her sex, is still the sex they were born as, plain and simple. They're just a wolf in sheep's clothing for lack of a better description, and they should be treated as such. Now if this "man" felt vulnerable dressed as a woman, using a men's restroom because he/she was concerned of being raped, I can't imagine the shock the potential rapist would experience when he discovered his potential rape victim was a man.
One of the headlines that I've heard in the last couple of years, is "PREGNANT MAN GIVES BIRTH", then you find out the man is really a woman, who has become a man, but chose to have her female organs kept intact. That is not a pregnant man, that is a pregnant woman that looks like a man, totally different headline "WOMAN THAT LOOKS LIKE A MAN PREGNANT"
The simple solution to the whole thing in my opinion would have been for the "man" to fully embrace being a woman, and instead of standing while he urinated, choose to sit down or squat as any self respecting woman would do, but no, he had to pee like a man. So in my opinion the authorities acted appropriately. These Transgender people who only take it part way, in my opinion want their cake and to eat it as well. If they want to be recognized, as male, then do it. Have the surgery to remove their original equipment, and have new equipment fashioned to match there believed sex, take the appropriate hormones to raise or lower their voice, change their name. Do it all. but until its all done, your still the sex you were born, plain and simple.
Just my two cents.
The problem arose, where he/she dressed as a woman, and then at the grocery store used the women's restroom. I imagine this probably was not a one time thing, and from the article it appears that it was not. He/she proceeded to go to the stall and then urinated while standing, causing a woman in one of the other stalls some level of consternation, which she reported to the appropriate authorities, IE: store manager, who then reported it to the police, and the Transgendered person was eventually charged with trespassing, and banned from the store for a year because of this.
Now to my point of view. I have used restrooms, (men's) where the women's was full and a woman came in and used the stall while I was standing at the urinal, no harm no foul in my opinion, it didn't bother me in the least and it didn't seem to bother any of the other men, and there were no rude comments made by anyone that I remember. Granted this was a little different situation, in that there were allot of people around albeit a men's restroom I doubt neither the woman, or any of the men, had much concern of being raped or molested, but on the other hand, it was the men's restroom. I myself by accident walked into a woman's restroom by accident, and had to use the stall, not realizing it was a woman's restroom, until a woman came in and sat down in the stall next to me.....man was I embarrassed, and hoped I could get my pants back up and out of there without anyone seeing me. But back to my point. a man that says he identifies as a woman or vise versa, who dresses as the opposite sex, acts like the opposite sex, takes the name of the opposite sex, sounds like the opposite sex, who still has the original equipment of his or her sex, is still the sex they were born as, plain and simple. They're just a wolf in sheep's clothing for lack of a better description, and they should be treated as such. Now if this "man" felt vulnerable dressed as a woman, using a men's restroom because he/she was concerned of being raped, I can't imagine the shock the potential rapist would experience when he discovered his potential rape victim was a man.
One of the headlines that I've heard in the last couple of years, is "PREGNANT MAN GIVES BIRTH", then you find out the man is really a woman, who has become a man, but chose to have her female organs kept intact. That is not a pregnant man, that is a pregnant woman that looks like a man, totally different headline "WOMAN THAT LOOKS LIKE A MAN PREGNANT"
The simple solution to the whole thing in my opinion would have been for the "man" to fully embrace being a woman, and instead of standing while he urinated, choose to sit down or squat as any self respecting woman would do, but no, he had to pee like a man. So in my opinion the authorities acted appropriately. These Transgender people who only take it part way, in my opinion want their cake and to eat it as well. If they want to be recognized, as male, then do it. Have the surgery to remove their original equipment, and have new equipment fashioned to match there believed sex, take the appropriate hormones to raise or lower their voice, change their name. Do it all. but until its all done, your still the sex you were born, plain and simple.
Just my two cents.
Friday, February 1, 2013
Mati Tao. Come out Come out wherever you are
Come on Mati, tell it like it is. This whole sorry sounded fishy to me from the start. A college educated guy, good looking, masculine, athletic, sweet, is taken for a "ride around the block" by someone who was his girl friend, who suddenly dies, he said he met; then recants, his parents said he met, she stood him up; he got scared to met her, talked to for hours on the phone every night, falling asleep on the phone with (sleeping with) pictures of whom are not her, and now a man claiming to have hoaxed Mati, playing to be a woman, but he cant make his voice sound right on camera? Come on give me a break.
Not that I really care what Mati's Sexuality is, but to me the biggest story here is a football player, who I feel is most likely gay is having to lie to himself, and the entire nation about something that really doesn't matter just because of our puritanical vision of sexuality. The media is riding this for all its worth, and its not going to stop until something bad happens. Most likely when they do expose the truth that Mati is gay, and the man doing the "hoaxing" is his lover, and because of sociatial pressures, he does something that everyone will regret.
Here is what I think went down. Mati is either gay or bi. He is a good Christian/Mormon kid. Good family, good upbringing, college football hero, who has allot going for him, and most likely will be a pro star someday. Mati, wanting to fit in with the other guys in the locker room, possibly even taking some kidding/teasing from teammates about not having a girlfriend, makes one up. Not necessarily intentionally at the start, but just says he has one, maybe even talking about a boyfriend as a girlfriend. Eventually the friends/teammates start to wonder who she is, since they never see him with anyone, so he asks a close female friend to call and leave him some messages, he also finds some pictures of a girl that is pretty, and lives a reasonable distance away, so no one will be able to meet her. All of the late night, and all night phone conversations with her are with his actual boyfriend, and the thing goes well for sometime, but finally it becomes too much of a hassle for the two of them to keep up the charade, so what better way than to "kill" her off...(kind of sounds like a soap opera), when a star becomes too much of a problem they "kill off" the character, no fuss no muss, end of story.
The problem began when Dead Spin dug a little deeper, bringing this story to the front page, and uncovering the discrepancies in it. The little lie, just as most lies do, grew and he had to tell another lie to cover the first, and another, and then another. I don't think it would be too hard to record voice messages after the fact and changing the date to an earlier time. I think all that would have to be done would be to change the date on the phone, so that it didn't set from the network automatically, and then set your own time, maybe on both phones, and then call and record the message, hang up and then do it all over again to record different times and dates.
I don't know if this is the actual story, but we will see. I think we haven't heard the end of this, and I don't think we will for sometime. If this is the story, or something like it, I feel sad for Mati, in that he is having to hide behind a lie, all for being who he is, and what America expects from its football players, and most athletes in general. We may not hear the end of this for sometime, maybe years, not until it is acceptable to be gay and be an athlete.
Not that I really care what Mati's Sexuality is, but to me the biggest story here is a football player, who I feel is most likely gay is having to lie to himself, and the entire nation about something that really doesn't matter just because of our puritanical vision of sexuality. The media is riding this for all its worth, and its not going to stop until something bad happens. Most likely when they do expose the truth that Mati is gay, and the man doing the "hoaxing" is his lover, and because of sociatial pressures, he does something that everyone will regret.
Here is what I think went down. Mati is either gay or bi. He is a good Christian/Mormon kid. Good family, good upbringing, college football hero, who has allot going for him, and most likely will be a pro star someday. Mati, wanting to fit in with the other guys in the locker room, possibly even taking some kidding/teasing from teammates about not having a girlfriend, makes one up. Not necessarily intentionally at the start, but just says he has one, maybe even talking about a boyfriend as a girlfriend. Eventually the friends/teammates start to wonder who she is, since they never see him with anyone, so he asks a close female friend to call and leave him some messages, he also finds some pictures of a girl that is pretty, and lives a reasonable distance away, so no one will be able to meet her. All of the late night, and all night phone conversations with her are with his actual boyfriend, and the thing goes well for sometime, but finally it becomes too much of a hassle for the two of them to keep up the charade, so what better way than to "kill" her off...(kind of sounds like a soap opera), when a star becomes too much of a problem they "kill off" the character, no fuss no muss, end of story.
The problem began when Dead Spin dug a little deeper, bringing this story to the front page, and uncovering the discrepancies in it. The little lie, just as most lies do, grew and he had to tell another lie to cover the first, and another, and then another. I don't think it would be too hard to record voice messages after the fact and changing the date to an earlier time. I think all that would have to be done would be to change the date on the phone, so that it didn't set from the network automatically, and then set your own time, maybe on both phones, and then call and record the message, hang up and then do it all over again to record different times and dates.
I don't know if this is the actual story, but we will see. I think we haven't heard the end of this, and I don't think we will for sometime. If this is the story, or something like it, I feel sad for Mati, in that he is having to hide behind a lie, all for being who he is, and what America expects from its football players, and most athletes in general. We may not hear the end of this for sometime, maybe years, not until it is acceptable to be gay and be an athlete.
Thursday, January 10, 2013
Gun Control
I read a tweet today, that really got my blood boiling. #Taft it was said "How dare they say that more guns = less violence?" my response to that is as follows:
Well I think its been proven that less guns = more violence. how many guns were in Sandy Hook? Taft HS? or any other school shooting, other than what the "criminal" had? Do I hear ZERO? That’s right ZERO. Had there been even one person trained on how to use a gun, and carrying a gun in any of the shootings, there may have been a different story. Look at our schools as a small microcosm of a disarmed America, the population disarmed, and they get shot like sitting ducks when someone comes in who doesn't follow the rules. They just end up being sheep waiting to be slaughtered.
The problem lies not with guns, but with the people using them. I had a gun when I was 9 years old, I never took it to school and shot anybody. In High School I even took an old shotgun, flintlock pistol, and flintlock rifle to school one day for a presentation. I stored them in my locker, until class and them carried them down the hall to the class room, did my presentation, then took them out to my car after class. Did they kill anyone? Nope. I Imagine about half the boys in my school had a gun in their car or truck on school property during the day, either going hunting before or after school, and most of us....allot of girls included, carried pocket knives from first grade all the way through High School.
The problem lies not with guns, but our culture. We live in a society were everyone takes the position, it's not my fault, or the government will take care of me. We no longer have any personal responsibility. You spank your child, the child says something to somebody, and then CPS is knocking on your door, and taking your child away, and then its up to you to prove you did nothing wrong. Or the schools try to discipline a kid and the parent is knocking down the door yelling at the "offender" for disciplining their brat. and then, you have video games that promote war and the killing of Innocent people.
When I was in school, we had corporal punishment available to our teachers, and I got spanked a couple of times, but for the most part I kept it pretty straight because of the threat of getting a "Hack". The couple of times I did get a hack, did I tell my parents? Hell no. Because I knew I would get paddled twice as hard as the teacher did.
Now I'm not saying video games kill people, just as I don't believe that guns kill people. Both require the help of a human. But if you take a twisted person and let them play killing video games in their spare time, and they get ahold of a gun, there is a greater chance something bad is going to happen.
In my opinion, what needs to happen is parents need to start being parents again. Kids don't sit in their rooms for hours on end playing video games/watching TV. They need to get outside, do something, get a job, do chores around the house, get some exercise. When they get out of line, they need to be spanked, either by the parent, passerby, teacher, whoever needs to do it. Kids are too coddled today. When they graduate they are either enrolled in college, or they go into government service/military for for 4 years where they get some discipline, and maturity. When the ones that went to college get out they do 2 years service.
Also there needs to be more mental health services available, and we need to realize as a nation, that unfortunately not everyone is capable of being in the public sector. Get rid of the main stream guidelines, put kids where they get the help they need. If it's a mental institution, then that's where they need to be not in our schools. If their I/Q is low maybe they need to be in a special school where they specialize in those issues.
In closing, we need to do something, but gun control is not the issue. This is a societal issue and until something is done in our society to correct that, it will just continue to happen, with more and more regularity.
Well I think its been proven that less guns = more violence. how many guns were in Sandy Hook? Taft HS? or any other school shooting, other than what the "criminal" had? Do I hear ZERO? That’s right ZERO. Had there been even one person trained on how to use a gun, and carrying a gun in any of the shootings, there may have been a different story. Look at our schools as a small microcosm of a disarmed America, the population disarmed, and they get shot like sitting ducks when someone comes in who doesn't follow the rules. They just end up being sheep waiting to be slaughtered.
The problem lies not with guns, but with the people using them. I had a gun when I was 9 years old, I never took it to school and shot anybody. In High School I even took an old shotgun, flintlock pistol, and flintlock rifle to school one day for a presentation. I stored them in my locker, until class and them carried them down the hall to the class room, did my presentation, then took them out to my car after class. Did they kill anyone? Nope. I Imagine about half the boys in my school had a gun in their car or truck on school property during the day, either going hunting before or after school, and most of us....allot of girls included, carried pocket knives from first grade all the way through High School.
The problem lies not with guns, but our culture. We live in a society were everyone takes the position, it's not my fault, or the government will take care of me. We no longer have any personal responsibility. You spank your child, the child says something to somebody, and then CPS is knocking on your door, and taking your child away, and then its up to you to prove you did nothing wrong. Or the schools try to discipline a kid and the parent is knocking down the door yelling at the "offender" for disciplining their brat. and then, you have video games that promote war and the killing of Innocent people.
When I was in school, we had corporal punishment available to our teachers, and I got spanked a couple of times, but for the most part I kept it pretty straight because of the threat of getting a "Hack". The couple of times I did get a hack, did I tell my parents? Hell no. Because I knew I would get paddled twice as hard as the teacher did.
Now I'm not saying video games kill people, just as I don't believe that guns kill people. Both require the help of a human. But if you take a twisted person and let them play killing video games in their spare time, and they get ahold of a gun, there is a greater chance something bad is going to happen.
In my opinion, what needs to happen is parents need to start being parents again. Kids don't sit in their rooms for hours on end playing video games/watching TV. They need to get outside, do something, get a job, do chores around the house, get some exercise. When they get out of line, they need to be spanked, either by the parent, passerby, teacher, whoever needs to do it. Kids are too coddled today. When they graduate they are either enrolled in college, or they go into government service/military for for 4 years where they get some discipline, and maturity. When the ones that went to college get out they do 2 years service.
Also there needs to be more mental health services available, and we need to realize as a nation, that unfortunately not everyone is capable of being in the public sector. Get rid of the main stream guidelines, put kids where they get the help they need. If it's a mental institution, then that's where they need to be not in our schools. If their I/Q is low maybe they need to be in a special school where they specialize in those issues.
In closing, we need to do something, but gun control is not the issue. This is a societal issue and until something is done in our society to correct that, it will just continue to happen, with more and more regularity.
Monday, December 17, 2012
Newtown Massacre
Well here it is another school shooting. Another sick individual. My heart goes out to the families of the victims of this tragedy. If things play out the way they usually do when there is any kind of shooting where children are involved, we're all about to become victims.
I watched an interview this morning on TV, the person being interviewed was the school nurse in Newtown Conn.. She spoke about how she had hidden under her desk when the gunman came into her office, and how she could see him through a hole in the back of her desk for computer cables to go through, and how after he had left (to continue his rampage) her secretary had come into the office, and closed the door and they both hid in the closet for almost 4 hours. Congratulations to both of them for surviving, and having an action plan, but how much more gratifying would it to have been to hear this. "I was in my office and heard some popping noises, I reached into my desk, and pulled my hand gun out of my purse, after checking to make sure it was loaded, I proceeded into my secretary's office where I found her hiding under her desk. I told her to go into my office, lock the door, and then go into my store room lock the door, and hide there until everything was OK. Next I went out into the hall where I came almost face to face with the shooter, on his way into my office, I raised my gun, and shot him. I'm very sorry for the 1 victim of the shooter, and I heart and prayers go to the family, but I'm thankful I chose to have a conceal carry permit, and know how to effectively use my weapon." I know myself for one would much rather hear this, hour after hour, day after day, month after month, year after year, than talk about more gun control legislation.
I read an article a few years ago, I think shortly after 9/11 that was relevant then, and even more so here. Its called "On Sheep, Wolves and Sheepdogs. In it, it makes the correlation between people who are Sheep, Wolves, and Sheepdogs, and how each reacts. How great would it have been had this nurse been able to have been a "Sheepdog". Read on for the narrative, I didn't write it, but it sums up my feelings. Before the September 11 attacks in 2001, I flew almost weekly, and since I was 5 or 6 years old I had carried a pocket knife, (yes to school as well). When I started flying for work I had always had my knife in my pocket, not because I expected problems, but because I used it for work, as well in the back of my mind I had thought if there were ever any problems on board (hi-jacking) I at least had a weapon I could use to defend myself or others. After 9/11 that no longer is an option, now when I fly, I have to remember to "disarm" myself and leave my pocket knife at home. I, thanks to our government have now become a sheepdog with no teeth. Should something happen on board a plane that I am on, will fight to the death, but it will be with my bare knuckles, fingernails, teeth and whatever else the government cannot take away from me.
I first began shooting simply out of curiosity -- my former father-in-law is an experienced hunter, and he wanted to share his knowledge and enjoyment of firearms with his son and me. I fell in love with his 12-gauge pump shotgun -- and became proficient with it my first afternoon of shooting. With the first recoil into my shoulder, before the booming echoes faded away, recognition of the power I commanded flooded me. It filled me with something I'd not known before: the absolute knowledge that if someone tried to mess with me, I could successfully fight him -- or them -- off. Size was no longer an insurmountable obstacle; numbers were more of a challenge but I would have a much better chance being armed. I could fight--and win!
From the published accounts of in-flight conversations from people on the three jets that became third world cruise missiles on 9-11, slamming into the twin towers of the World Trade Center and the Pentagon, most of the people on those jets -- and the people they contacted -- were sheep. They allowed terrorists armed with knives and box cutters to commandeer the aircraft, killing themselves and thousands more in the buildings. Based on what we currently know of those flights' last few minutes, no one made any attempt to resist the terrorists. One woman who called her husband on a cell phone asked him what they should do; sadly, he did not suggest she recruit some others to overcome the terrorists. Those poor doomed souls had been so conditioned into relying on someone else for their protection that they apparently didn't even try to mount a resistance. They died huddled into the back of the plane, like the sheep they'd become.
So, what are you? A sheep, a wolf, or a sheepdog?
Does anyone seriously think that a wolf is going to follow the rules? lets make more gun control laws. Take weapons away from everyone, no more sales of guns or ammunition, guns are still going to be owned by those wishing to do people harm, hell, I even made a gun in my high school metal shop class. It doesn't take much knowledge to make one. Just a metal lathe, and a micrometer.
I watched an interview this morning on TV, the person being interviewed was the school nurse in Newtown Conn.. She spoke about how she had hidden under her desk when the gunman came into her office, and how she could see him through a hole in the back of her desk for computer cables to go through, and how after he had left (to continue his rampage) her secretary had come into the office, and closed the door and they both hid in the closet for almost 4 hours. Congratulations to both of them for surviving, and having an action plan, but how much more gratifying would it to have been to hear this. "I was in my office and heard some popping noises, I reached into my desk, and pulled my hand gun out of my purse, after checking to make sure it was loaded, I proceeded into my secretary's office where I found her hiding under her desk. I told her to go into my office, lock the door, and then go into my store room lock the door, and hide there until everything was OK. Next I went out into the hall where I came almost face to face with the shooter, on his way into my office, I raised my gun, and shot him. I'm very sorry for the 1 victim of the shooter, and I heart and prayers go to the family, but I'm thankful I chose to have a conceal carry permit, and know how to effectively use my weapon." I know myself for one would much rather hear this, hour after hour, day after day, month after month, year after year, than talk about more gun control legislation.
I read an article a few years ago, I think shortly after 9/11 that was relevant then, and even more so here. Its called "On Sheep, Wolves and Sheepdogs. In it, it makes the correlation between people who are Sheep, Wolves, and Sheepdogs, and how each reacts. How great would it have been had this nurse been able to have been a "Sheepdog". Read on for the narrative, I didn't write it, but it sums up my feelings. Before the September 11 attacks in 2001, I flew almost weekly, and since I was 5 or 6 years old I had carried a pocket knife, (yes to school as well). When I started flying for work I had always had my knife in my pocket, not because I expected problems, but because I used it for work, as well in the back of my mind I had thought if there were ever any problems on board (hi-jacking) I at least had a weapon I could use to defend myself or others. After 9/11 that no longer is an option, now when I fly, I have to remember to "disarm" myself and leave my pocket knife at home. I, thanks to our government have now become a sheepdog with no teeth. Should something happen on board a plane that I am on, will fight to the death, but it will be with my bare knuckles, fingernails, teeth and whatever else the government cannot take away from me.
Sheep, Wolf, or Sheepdog?
Many individuals seem to have a rather limited view of gun owners. We are variously depicted as "good ol' boys" -- rebel rednecks who are uneducated and for whom shooting is a cheap, macho thrill, vigilantes who believe something along the lines of "Shoot 'em all -- let God sort 'em out", or patriotic, right-wing extremists who will brook no argument over the precise meaning of each of the twenty-seven words in the second amendment. These stereotypes aren't surprising; they are the inevitable result of years of fomenting fear by gun control advocates, biased reporting by most of the media, and inaccurate portrayals of firearm use by the entertainment industry.
Well, folks, make a new category for me and my sisters. I am an armed mother. I own a variety of firearms. I have five children -- three stepsons and two toddlers -- ranging from just over 1 year old to 14 years old. I am a passionate defender of any responsible individuals right to keep and bear arms, for both ideological and practical reasons. And I am not alone. I first began shooting simply out of curiosity -- my former father-in-law is an experienced hunter, and he wanted to share his knowledge and enjoyment of firearms with his son and me. I fell in love with his 12-gauge pump shotgun -- and became proficient with it my first afternoon of shooting. With the first recoil into my shoulder, before the booming echoes faded away, recognition of the power I commanded flooded me. It filled me with something I'd not known before: the absolute knowledge that if someone tried to mess with me, I could successfully fight him -- or them -- off. Size was no longer an insurmountable obstacle; numbers were more of a challenge but I would have a much better chance being armed. I could fight--and win!
I have since educated myself about responsible firearms use, handling, and storage, and learned how to shoot different firearms. I have also written numerous articles on RKBA topics and self-defense. While I am by no means an expert, I enjoy reading and learning more about firearms, and enjoy practicing with them. Due to my willingness to write about firearms, I've had some interesting exchanges with individuals from across the spectrum. In part as a result of that, and also from my reading in the area, I have come to view individuals as falling into one of three classes: sheep, wolf, and sheepdog.
Sheep are, unfortunately, the most numerous group. Individuals who are horrified by guns and protest indignantly that they would never own a gun, because they could never hurt another human being are sheep. So are individuals who, for whatever reason, can't or won't be bothered to think about their own protection. Also in this group are those who believe that the government -- the police, 911, etc. -- can and will protect them, and so don't think about protecting themselves. From the published accounts of in-flight conversations from people on the three jets that became third world cruise missiles on 9-11, slamming into the twin towers of the World Trade Center and the Pentagon, most of the people on those jets -- and the people they contacted -- were sheep. They allowed terrorists armed with knives and box cutters to commandeer the aircraft, killing themselves and thousands more in the buildings. Based on what we currently know of those flights' last few minutes, no one made any attempt to resist the terrorists. One woman who called her husband on a cell phone asked him what they should do; sadly, he did not suggest she recruit some others to overcome the terrorists. Those poor doomed souls had been so conditioned into relying on someone else for their protection that they apparently didn't even try to mount a resistance. They died huddled into the back of the plane, like the sheep they'd become.
Wolves are the least numerous group, thankfully. Individuals who prey on others, for whatever reason, are wolves. Terrorists, rapists, thieves, and psychopathic killers are obviously wolves. So are those who derive satisfaction from the power they wield over others, whether by bullying or manipulating or deceiving. It's difficult to get a good estimate of just how many wolves there are out there, because ways of counting and defining them vary. According to the American Psychiatric Association's measures, what I'm calling wolves can be classified into three categories (it is possible for someone to belong in two or more categories): antisocial personality disorder (most common criminals); sociopaths; and psychopaths. The incidence of each of these in the population is, respectively, 4%, 3%, and 1%.
It is possible for an individual to overreact to the threat that wolves present to the rest of us, and become wolf-like. These individuals typically make statements such as, "If anybody comes after me he'll get the business end of my rifle!" or "If I'd had my gun with me that SOB would have learned a thing or two courtesy of Mr. Wesson!". They abuse the power of firearms, and become bullies -- as long as they're behind their weapon. Fortunately, this kind of "reactionary wolf" is similarly rare.
That leaves the individuals who know better than to rely on the empty promises of security the government offers, and who educate themselves and arm themselves with a variety of tools for self-protection. These individuals aren't sheep, passively waiting and hoping someone else will watch over us. Nor are they wolves, using their tools and training against those who pose no real threat to them. They are sheepdogs -- ever watchful, appraising potential problems and responding appropriately to a threat. If a wolf approaches, they bark first to warn it off. If it persists, they increase the defensive measures. If the wolf begins its attack, only then does the sheepdog unleash its most powerful weapon -- firearms -- to stop the lethal threat to its life and loved ones.
In my work for Project: Safe Skies, I have heard the objection several times that armed citizens on board a plane would overreact -- in effect, becoming those reactionary wolves I described above. Sadly, I've even heard this from individuals who describe themselves as "pro-gun". If the possibilities were limited to sheep and wolves -- prey and predators -- it is possible that someone simply saying hello to his companion while on a jet -- "Hi, Jack!" -- could get shot by a reactionary wolf with a quick trigger finger. The reality is that most gun owners are sheepdogs: prepared, alert, and thinking. Threats are assessed and dealt with an appropriate fashion, rather than drawing the gun and firing away every time.
In fact, armed citizens have a better record of successfully targeting criminals than do police officers. Sheepdogs mistakenly shoot innocent individuals in only 2% of shootings; for police the rate is 11%. If you think about it, this makes sense. Civilians don't have the protections that come with the badge a cop wears. Instead, if they fire (or even show a weapon in many states) inappropriately, the civilian can face criminal and civil suits that can lead to bankruptcy, and the loss of a good reputation in the community. Because of the higher standard of accountability, many sheepdogs also work hard to maintain solid defensive skills -- often times much harder than law enforcement officers do. That training pays off in greater safety.
I have 7 excellent reasons to be armed and prepared to meet any threat that may come my way: my life and the lives of my wonderful partner and five beautiful children. As a mother, it is my responsibility to raise my children to be healthy, responsible adults. This includes protecting them from and educating them about potential dangers in the world. That's why I'm a sheepdog. My responsibility does not end when we set foot on airport property. Indeed, the events of 9-11 (another failure of government safety schemes, but I'll save that topic for another day) have demonstrated that sheepdogs are in even greater demand than ever before. So, what are you? A sheep, a wolf, or a sheepdog?
Does anyone seriously think that a wolf is going to follow the rules? lets make more gun control laws. Take weapons away from everyone, no more sales of guns or ammunition, guns are still going to be owned by those wishing to do people harm, hell, I even made a gun in my high school metal shop class. It doesn't take much knowledge to make one. Just a metal lathe, and a micrometer.
Tuesday, December 4, 2012
Frank Ocean Coming Out Letter
I came accross something today that to me was kind of a "WOW" moment. It was written by Frank Ocean, a black rapper. I'm not really into rap, this guy hits it on the head. It is his comming out letter that he wrote in a open format. It is very much how I felt, and was unable to put to words. Good job Frank
"Whoever you are, where ever you are… I’m starting to think we’re a lot alike. Human beings spinning on blackness. All wanting to be seen, touched, heard, paid attention to. My loved ones are everything to me here. In the last year or 3 I’ve screamed at my creator, screamed at clouds in the sky, for some explanation. Mercy maybe. For peace of mind to rain like Manna somehow. 4 summers ago, I met somebody. I was 19 years old. He was too. We spent that summer, and the summer after, together. Everyday almost. And on the days we were together, time would glide. Most of the day I’d see him, and his smile. I’d hear his conversation and his silence….until it was time to sleep. Sleep I would often share with him. By the time I realized I was in love, it was malignant. It was hopeless. There was no escaping. No negotiating with the feeling. No choice. It was my first love, it changed my life. Back then, my mind would wander to the women I had been with. The ones I cared for and thought I was in love with. I reminisced about the sentimental songs I enjoyed when I was a teenager.. the ones I played when I experienced a girlfriend for the first time. I realized they were written in a language I did not speak. I realized too much, too quickly. Imagine being thrown from a plane. I wasn’t in a plane though. I was in a Nissan Maxima, the same car I packed up with bags and drove to Los Angeles in. I sat there and told my friend how I felt. I wept as the words left my mouth. I grieved for them, knowing I could never take them back for myself. He patted my back. He said kind things. He did his best, but he wouldn’t admit the same. He had to go back inside soon. It was late and his girlfriend was waiting for him upstairs. He wouldn’t tell me for years. Now imagine being thrown from a cliff. No, I wasn’t on a cliff, I was still in my car telling myself It was gonna be fine and to take deep breaths. I took the breaths and carried on. I kept up a peculiar friendship with him because I couldn’t imagine keeping up my life without him. I struggled to master myself and my emotions.
I wasn’t always successful. That dance went on… I kept the rhythm for several Summers after. It’s Winter now. I’m typing this on a plane back to Los Angeles from New Orleans. I flew home for another marred Christmas. I have a window seat. It’s December 27 2011. By now I’ve written two albums, this being the second. I wrote to keep myself busy and sane. I wanted to create worlds that were rosier than mine. I tried to channel overwhelming emotions. I’m surprised at how far all of it has taken me. Before writing this I’d told some people my story. I’m sure these people kept me alive, kept me safe.. sincerely. These are the folks I wanna thank from the floor of my heart. Everyone of you knows who you are.. great humans. Probably Angels. I don’t know what happens now, and that’s alrite. I don’t have any secrets I need kept anymore. There’s probably some small shit still, but you know what I mean. I was never alone, as much as I felt like it.. As much as I still do sometimes, I never was. I don’t think I ever could be. Thanks, to my first love, I’m grateful for you. Grateful that even though It wasn’t what I hoped for and even though it was never enough, it was. Some things never are.. and we were. I won’t forget you. I won’t forget the Summer. I’ll remember who I was then I met you. I’ll remember who you were and how we’ve both changed and stayed the same. I’ve never had more respect for life and living than I have right now. Maybe it takes a near death experience to feel alive. Thanks, to my Mother. You raised me strong. I know I’m only brave because you were first.. so thank you. All of you. For everything good. I feel like a free man. If I listen closely.. I can hear the sky falling too.
-Frank
"Whoever you are, where ever you are… I’m starting to think we’re a lot alike. Human beings spinning on blackness. All wanting to be seen, touched, heard, paid attention to. My loved ones are everything to me here. In the last year or 3 I’ve screamed at my creator, screamed at clouds in the sky, for some explanation. Mercy maybe. For peace of mind to rain like Manna somehow. 4 summers ago, I met somebody. I was 19 years old. He was too. We spent that summer, and the summer after, together. Everyday almost. And on the days we were together, time would glide. Most of the day I’d see him, and his smile. I’d hear his conversation and his silence….until it was time to sleep. Sleep I would often share with him. By the time I realized I was in love, it was malignant. It was hopeless. There was no escaping. No negotiating with the feeling. No choice. It was my first love, it changed my life. Back then, my mind would wander to the women I had been with. The ones I cared for and thought I was in love with. I reminisced about the sentimental songs I enjoyed when I was a teenager.. the ones I played when I experienced a girlfriend for the first time. I realized they were written in a language I did not speak. I realized too much, too quickly. Imagine being thrown from a plane. I wasn’t in a plane though. I was in a Nissan Maxima, the same car I packed up with bags and drove to Los Angeles in. I sat there and told my friend how I felt. I wept as the words left my mouth. I grieved for them, knowing I could never take them back for myself. He patted my back. He said kind things. He did his best, but he wouldn’t admit the same. He had to go back inside soon. It was late and his girlfriend was waiting for him upstairs. He wouldn’t tell me for years. Now imagine being thrown from a cliff. No, I wasn’t on a cliff, I was still in my car telling myself It was gonna be fine and to take deep breaths. I took the breaths and carried on. I kept up a peculiar friendship with him because I couldn’t imagine keeping up my life without him. I struggled to master myself and my emotions.
I wasn’t always successful. That dance went on… I kept the rhythm for several Summers after. It’s Winter now. I’m typing this on a plane back to Los Angeles from New Orleans. I flew home for another marred Christmas. I have a window seat. It’s December 27 2011. By now I’ve written two albums, this being the second. I wrote to keep myself busy and sane. I wanted to create worlds that were rosier than mine. I tried to channel overwhelming emotions. I’m surprised at how far all of it has taken me. Before writing this I’d told some people my story. I’m sure these people kept me alive, kept me safe.. sincerely. These are the folks I wanna thank from the floor of my heart. Everyone of you knows who you are.. great humans. Probably Angels. I don’t know what happens now, and that’s alrite. I don’t have any secrets I need kept anymore. There’s probably some small shit still, but you know what I mean. I was never alone, as much as I felt like it.. As much as I still do sometimes, I never was. I don’t think I ever could be. Thanks, to my first love, I’m grateful for you. Grateful that even though It wasn’t what I hoped for and even though it was never enough, it was. Some things never are.. and we were. I won’t forget you. I won’t forget the Summer. I’ll remember who I was then I met you. I’ll remember who you were and how we’ve both changed and stayed the same. I’ve never had more respect for life and living than I have right now. Maybe it takes a near death experience to feel alive. Thanks, to my Mother. You raised me strong. I know I’m only brave because you were first.. so thank you. All of you. For everything good. I feel like a free man. If I listen closely.. I can hear the sky falling too.
-Frank
Tuesday, September 18, 2012
Lets Go On Vacation or Marriage and the Constitution
I came across an article awhile back which kind of struck me as interesting. It's something I knew, but really didn't know why, but remembered learning about it in school. probably in 7th or 8th grade, when we studied the constitution. The article references Article 4 Section 1 of the United States Constitution, or otherwise known as the Full faith and credit law.
Section 1.
Full faith andcredit shall be given in each state to the public acts, records, and judicial proceedings of every other state. And the Congress may by general laws prescribe the manner in which such acts, records, and proceedings shall be proved, and the effect thereof.
Section 2.
The citizens of each state shall be entitled to all privileges and immunities of citizens in the several states.
This was put into our Constitution, by our fore fathers for the sole reason, to unify our nations laws. It recognizes that there are numerous jurisdictions involved in just about every aspect of our nation, ie:federal, state, county, city, and that each jurisdiction may have different laws, but basically says that if a judicial proceeding happens in one jurisdiction then that proceeding is recognized in another jurisdiction.
Think about how much of a hassel it would be if your drivers license wasn't accepted out of your home state. (wife)Honey where are we going on vacation this year? (you)Well I'm licensed in Rhode Island, Connecticut, New Jersey, and Delaware. (Kids) we want to go to Disney world. (you)We can't go to Disney world, because I only have a weeks vacation, and I have to get 5 drivers licenses, Divorce your mother, and marry your step mom in 5 states and each one will take at least a day to do.(kids) We don't want to go to Easton's Beach againnnnnn, (you) well kids it's either that or I get a drivers license divorce your mom, and marry your step mother in Massachusetts, and we can do the freedom trail in Boston, Oooorrrrrr we do a sta-cation, in the back yard.....(kids)aaallllllllllll right, lets do the beach againnnnnn.
Do you see how absurd that is? How is it though when it comes to gay marriage, this law seems to not apply? With few exceptions, if you are married in a state that performs same sex marriages, that marriage is not recognized in the other states, as well as by the federal government. Until the Supreme Court struck down all laws banning interracial marriage in 1967, a number of states banned interracial marriage and did not accept interracial marriage certificates issued in other states. Is this where we are today, 1966? Almost 50 years later and were still "banning interracial marriage's" not literaly, but figuratively. Are we that stupid, that were going to allow our government to continue this? I bet everyone reading this knows at least one interracial married couple, and is probably even good friends with them. Would you go out and protest against their right to be married or support denying their right to be married, because "your state doesn't allow interracial marriage"? Or even better, in the 60's black men were murdered because they were living with or were married to white women. How about we go back to that?
In my opinion, who you marry, shouldn't be a Liberal or a Conservative, Democrat or Republican issue. It should be a personal issue. If I want to spend the rest of my life by myself so be it. If I want to marry a man, so be it. If I want to marry a woman good for me. But the issue comes down to being true to yourself, if your attracted to someone of the same sex, even if you marry a person of the opposite sex, your still attracted to people of the same sex, you might be able to put aside for awhile, but at some point its going to come to the surface, and at that point most likely it's going to involve others besides yourself, probably in a very negative way.
For myself, growing up in the 60's and 70's in a small farming community, I never even heard the word gay until I was out of high school. I didn't even look at it as applying to me. I had fooled around with a couple of guys I went to school with, but they both had girl friends, and I liked girls, I just thought that was what you did, mess around with your friends, then you get married, have kids, and live your life, I thought that was what everyone did. I spent 20 years in a marriage that really didn't work. 10 of those years cheating on her. I was in denial about who I was. After we were divorced, I continued to fool around with guys as well as dating women, none of them but one knew I had an attraction to men. Finally in my last relationship with a women, I realized I liked women for the company, but not the intiment or sexual part. As long as it was hanging out doing things, it was all good, but as soon as it turned sexual, and she wanted more of a relationship....I wanted to run the other direction.
Section 1.
Full faith and
Section 2.
The citizens of each state shall be entitled to all privileges and immunities of citizens in the several states.
This was put into our Constitution, by our fore fathers for the sole reason, to unify our nations laws. It recognizes that there are numerous jurisdictions involved in just about every aspect of our nation, ie:federal, state, county, city, and that each jurisdiction may have different laws, but basically says that if a judicial proceeding happens in one jurisdiction then that proceeding is recognized in another jurisdiction.
Think about how much of a hassel it would be if your drivers license wasn't accepted out of your home state. (wife)Honey where are we going on vacation this year? (you)Well I'm licensed in Rhode Island, Connecticut, New Jersey, and Delaware. (Kids) we want to go to Disney world. (you)We can't go to Disney world, because I only have a weeks vacation, and I have to get 5 drivers licenses, Divorce your mother, and marry your step mom in 5 states and each one will take at least a day to do.(kids) We don't want to go to Easton's Beach againnnnnn, (you) well kids it's either that or I get a drivers license divorce your mom, and marry your step mother in Massachusetts, and we can do the freedom trail in Boston, Oooorrrrrr we do a sta-cation, in the back yard.....(kids)aaallllllllllll right, lets do the beach againnnnnn.
Do you see how absurd that is? How is it though when it comes to gay marriage, this law seems to not apply? With few exceptions, if you are married in a state that performs same sex marriages, that marriage is not recognized in the other states, as well as by the federal government. Until the Supreme Court struck down all laws banning interracial marriage in 1967, a number of states banned interracial marriage and did not accept interracial marriage certificates issued in other states. Is this where we are today, 1966? Almost 50 years later and were still "banning interracial marriage's" not literaly, but figuratively. Are we that stupid, that were going to allow our government to continue this? I bet everyone reading this knows at least one interracial married couple, and is probably even good friends with them. Would you go out and protest against their right to be married or support denying their right to be married, because "your state doesn't allow interracial marriage"? Or even better, in the 60's black men were murdered because they were living with or were married to white women. How about we go back to that?
In my opinion, who you marry, shouldn't be a Liberal or a Conservative, Democrat or Republican issue. It should be a personal issue. If I want to spend the rest of my life by myself so be it. If I want to marry a man, so be it. If I want to marry a woman good for me. But the issue comes down to being true to yourself, if your attracted to someone of the same sex, even if you marry a person of the opposite sex, your still attracted to people of the same sex, you might be able to put aside for awhile, but at some point its going to come to the surface, and at that point most likely it's going to involve others besides yourself, probably in a very negative way.
For myself, growing up in the 60's and 70's in a small farming community, I never even heard the word gay until I was out of high school. I didn't even look at it as applying to me. I had fooled around with a couple of guys I went to school with, but they both had girl friends, and I liked girls, I just thought that was what you did, mess around with your friends, then you get married, have kids, and live your life, I thought that was what everyone did. I spent 20 years in a marriage that really didn't work. 10 of those years cheating on her. I was in denial about who I was. After we were divorced, I continued to fool around with guys as well as dating women, none of them but one knew I had an attraction to men. Finally in my last relationship with a women, I realized I liked women for the company, but not the intiment or sexual part. As long as it was hanging out doing things, it was all good, but as soon as it turned sexual, and she wanted more of a relationship....I wanted to run the other direction.
Friday, September 14, 2012
Gay and Republican
I've been listening to the radio and television quite abit the last few weeks, and something that I keep hearing repeated by numerous hosts, on the current political forefront, is if your LGBT, and your voting republican then your an "Uncle Tom", as in being gay but taking sides with the enemy. I heard one radio host on XM saying when he came out to his parents a few years ago, they had always been staunch republicans, and he told them that if they continued to vote republican it was the same as voting against him, as they were supportive of him and his boyfriend.
I take offense to this notion. Number 1, in my opinion being LGBT, is not and should not be in the political realm. I'm gay. Maybe your gay, maybe your straight, or somewhere in between. It doesn't matter. Just because I'm gay doesn't mean, that I believe in liberal fiscal policies, the welfare state, and taking from the rich to give to the poor (wealth re-distribution), gun control, and most of the other planks in the Democratic platform. What I do mean is that, yes the Republican party is against gay rights, but for the most part the rest of the platform I agree with. Do I like it, that they don't support my rights as a human being? No, but that is one of the give and take areas, I choose to give on.
I doubt that everyone in the Republican party agrees with every plank, and the same with the Democratic party as well. Hell I bet there are just as many Democrats who don't like the party supporting gay rights, as there are Republicans that don't like our party denying gay rights. To me its almost like saying if your gay then you have to be a Democrat, and if your straight, then you have to be a republican.
No one is ever going to agree 100% with each other, were all different, and in being different, that is what makes us human. As for me I will remain a Republican, but will try to change the way our party looks at us, by setting an example they can see in a positive way, not the example people see from so many in the LGBT community. I have lots of friends who are Republican, straight, and know that I am gay, they don't have a problem with me or my partner, and feel that we are getting the shaft...no pun intended, and I believe that in a few short years our party will reverse their stance on gays.
I take offense to this notion. Number 1, in my opinion being LGBT, is not and should not be in the political realm. I'm gay. Maybe your gay, maybe your straight, or somewhere in between. It doesn't matter. Just because I'm gay doesn't mean, that I believe in liberal fiscal policies, the welfare state, and taking from the rich to give to the poor (wealth re-distribution), gun control, and most of the other planks in the Democratic platform. What I do mean is that, yes the Republican party is against gay rights, but for the most part the rest of the platform I agree with. Do I like it, that they don't support my rights as a human being? No, but that is one of the give and take areas, I choose to give on.
I doubt that everyone in the Republican party agrees with every plank, and the same with the Democratic party as well. Hell I bet there are just as many Democrats who don't like the party supporting gay rights, as there are Republicans that don't like our party denying gay rights. To me its almost like saying if your gay then you have to be a Democrat, and if your straight, then you have to be a republican.
No one is ever going to agree 100% with each other, were all different, and in being different, that is what makes us human. As for me I will remain a Republican, but will try to change the way our party looks at us, by setting an example they can see in a positive way, not the example people see from so many in the LGBT community. I have lots of friends who are Republican, straight, and know that I am gay, they don't have a problem with me or my partner, and feel that we are getting the shaft...no pun intended, and I believe that in a few short years our party will reverse their stance on gays.
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